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The Pastor's Wife


My wife and I spent an evening this past week doing a little counseling with another married couple. During the course of our conversation I mentioned to them that couples should never stop dating each other. Married couples need to set aside time each week to go out. I mentioned that when they go out they should ask each other what they needed to do to be a better husband or a better wife. Who better to tell you how to be a better husband than your own wife? Who better to tell you how to be a better wife than your husband? The truth is we might be surprised by our mate's answers.

I've been thinking about that conversation for the last few days. There are lot's of people who offer up opinions on what makes a great pastor's wife. The Bible says nothing really about the role of 'Pastor's Wife' but it is very clear about what a wife should be. I think the best person to define what makes a great pastor's wife might be the pastor.

God has blessed me with a wonderful wife. I can't imagine doing ministry without her by my side. What is expected of her as the pastor's wife? It's very simple really, just be my wife. She fulfills that role expertly. She is my best friend, my counselor, my honey, my confidant, the mother of my children, she is my everything. I'm sure that she is very special, there is no doubt in my mind that God gives special grace to some women that enables them to be great pastor's wives.

A few days ago I woke around 6:00 a.m. to the sound of quiet voices. Kathy and Beth were huddled near the wall furnace outside our bedroom door reading the scripture and praying. A warm feeling came over me as I listened to my wife gracefully fulfill her role as 'the pastor's wife'. Later that night we went for a drive and grabbed a cup of coffee and I shared some burdens I was carrying. She lovingly assured me that God would show me what to do and would make a way. Again, she was fulfilling the role of 'pastor's wife' and doing a great job.

It is very important that we understand that the pastor's wife is just that, she is the pastor's wife not the churches' wife. Pastor's must passionately protect their wives from being pulled in too many directions. God gave our wives to us and we are to love and protect them. Our ministry must never come at the expense of our wife or family.


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