Taking God's Side

I have recently run across three different individuals that have fallen out of church after going through a divorce. All three spoke of feeling like people in their churches took sides in their divorces and made attending church a very uncomfortable thing. Tragic. Rather than listening to one side or the other, maybe the church should shed tears, offer up prayers, and take God's side. He has made His side very clear.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?" He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."  Matthew 19:3-9

This year we did something different for Mother's Day and Father's Day. I asked people in the church to write letters, essays, or poems to honor their moms and dads. Here is a letter submitted by a precious little girl that really drives home why we should promote God's side.

To My One And Only Daddy; Benny
I wish you were here with me right now. I wonder where you are and if you'll ever come back. I ask these questions to myself, mommy, and God every day hoping that somebody will answer saying, he's coming home, don't worry. I miss you so much. I want you to come home. I miss the times we used to go on bike rides through Richardson Park. I miss our camping trips we used to go on and bring the paddle boat. I miss when we used to lay on the couch and watch movies together. I also miss us playing with Tuxedo and how we can't do those things because you aren't here. I really miss you daddy and I hope you will come home soon. You've been there for me when I was sick, you got up in the middle of the night and you held my hair back when I got sick and was throwing up, you would always tell me you're there for me and you promised me and mommy you would never leave again. I really hope you come home soon, I miss you daddy.
Love,
Your Step-Daughter, Your Little Girl, Your Squirrel,
Kathryn

Divorce is not something to take lightly. It's not just an "Oh well, we tried" situation. Marriage is for life and there is no room for selfishness in a marriage. The church should not be OK with a dad running away and leaving his "little girl" to write a letter like this. The church should not be choosing sides and making couples feel justified in breaking their vows. We should be encouraging couples to work through their difficulties and honor the commitments they have made.

She’s got her daddy’s eyes, her momma’s hair,
A small piece of both of them.
But she’s the only thing, the two now share,
Only reason they’re still friends.

She spends the weekends here, the weekdays there
But she’s never really home,
‘Cause when she’s with her mom, she’s missing dad
So her sadness never ends.

Help them see through this child’s eyes,
Help them see the way,
Help them love like Jesus loves,
Help them both to stay!

You know it’s not the life they dreamed about,
‘Fore He blessed them with this child.
But they chased those dreams, gave it all they had,
There’s no reason now to stay.

“It’s complicated”, Yeah, that’s what they say,
As they look into her eyes.
If they could see things, through her tear-stained eyes,
Maybe then, they’d find the way

Help them see through this child’s eyes,
Help them see the way,
Help them love like Jesus loves,
Help them both to stay!

She loves them both, no matter what they’ve done,
Her love’s greater than their sins.
She kneels beside her bed, and prays each night,
“Jesus, Help them both to see”

Help them see through this child’s eyes,
Help them see the way,
Help them love like Jesus loves,
Help them both to stay!

Guard your marriage! Encourage others to do the same! Offer prayer and love to those having difficulties without condoning selfish willful sin. Always choose God's side!

Well now, I guess you know what's on my heart...